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Harry Disapparated from the Burrow into Grimmauld Place; he had appeared in an instant in the downstairs kitchen. Because Kreacher was no longer living there, every surface had gathered a thick layer of dust since his last visit. Mrs Weaseley had insisted that he take refreshments with him so, after lighting the kitchen lamps, he unwrapped a large parcel of sandwiches and several bottles of butterbeer, while waiting for Dedalus to arrive.Unlike when Harry had been to the house before its location had been accidentally revealed to the Death Eaters, a new charm had been laid by the Ministry, which meant that occupants and visitors alike were no longer subjected to the maniacal ranting from the portrait of Sirius' mother, Madam Black, which hung in the hallway. So, when there was a sharp rap on the door, shortly after one o'clock, Harry was totally relaxed as he opened it."Harry!" exclaimed Dedalus, enthusiastically pumping Harry's hand, "So very nice to see you again!" Hi, Dedalus, good. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘Mr. Drover, how are you feelin’?’... ‘Now yer honor, wot da fock would you say?’“Beer Stories”Three friends are sitting around their favorite pub. The first guy says “Hey guys, I know this other bar where you go in and every third drink that you order, you get the next one free. On top of t hat, about 1/4 of the time I go in there, I get lucky!” The second guy says, “That’s nothing! I know this bar where you get every other drink on the house, and I get lucky there about 1/2 the times that I go in.” The third guy, unimpressed, says, “Hell, I’ve got you both beat, I know.
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